Right to dream?

It seems like I can’t stop bothering myself with this certain person. His opinions and words make me always react, feel this indignation, and I’m not even sure if it is justified. I get this feeling I need to tell him that he is wrong, that the way I see things are completely different. Or, actually, that was a rather hasty judgement. I mean, I usually can see his point of view as well, and kind of understand it, too. The point is, I do think very differently and somehow I get this feeling his words are meant for me and his opinions meant to constrict mine. Why, oh, why? I know that is not very mature way of thinking, right? Aren’t we supposed to allow everybody think as they do and have the opinions they have?

Well. You know. This is me. I have this innate urge to react to everything. That can be a bit frustrating from time to time. It would be easier for just about everybody around to just let it be. Why do I care?

Yes, that is the question. Why do I care about this persons opinions so much? Isn’t that obvious? I would very much like to make a good impression on him, in other words, I do care about him. In a way. And there is the quirky part, it wouldn’t be me, if there wasn’t, right?

He is a celebrity.

I should be embarrassed now, right? And I am, believe me. But I do get this feeling that there might be some others in this world as well who think exactly the same thoughts. Privately. Anyways, here goes.

The thing I’m thinking at this point is what he told to his fans recently, or actually I have heard that same thing over and over again. It’s that he expresses his hopes for the fans not to send him anything, but to give to charity that money they have used for this sending, and buying gifts and stuff, and all.

I get it. I do. And I appriciate the thought behind it.

But I do see this issue on the other way around, as well. Giving the money to charity would be nice, but the point the fans have when they send everything to him, is something quite different.

They. Want. To. Be. Seen.

How personal it would be to just give money? Or tranfer some digits from one bank account to another? Very personal, indeed. How would he know then it was me who gave the money? Of course, he would know how much he is loved by his fans as a whole, but the one particular fan wouldn’t be any different from another.

I don’t know what it is like to have fan mail. I’m not any celebrity, how could I. But I can assume that piles and piles of letters and packages could get on my nerves if there would be enough of them. And I can assume even further that there might not be a slightest possibility for a celebrity to look through them all. But I feel like that almost non-existent possibility for to be seen, keeps the fans sending stuff.

And the reason I got upset of this was that I consider that unfair somehow. The fans are not sending merely the letters or gifts. They are sending their heart. Their appriciation, admiration, dreams. Giving the money wouldn’t just be the same.

It makes me think, though. Maybe there is a reason for all this. I mean, perhaps the celebrity doesn’t want to have any mail because he don’t even care. He doesn’t give a damn for all that dedication he gets. He has gotten pretty much enough of it. Maybe he has come all famous. You know.

The other option could be that he does care. And he cares also about something else, something bigger, the whole world and the well-being of all creatures. And he hopes that he has this effect on people, that maybe they could take action because of him.

Or maybe both.

What makes me frustrated is the feeling like he is denying the right to dream. On very universal level isn’t dreaming the thing that makes us humans? The ability to see better world and then act to achieve it? Of course, there are several types of dreams, I agree. The realistic and the unrealistic ones. The ones that makes the whole world a better place for all of us, and the ones that cares nothing about anybody else.

I need to tell you this, allthough it might seem (once again) that I’m straying. There have been times when I systematically have shot my dreams down. I don’t know why, maybe I had this feeling that there is no use in trying when everything is going to fail anyways. So I felt like it’s safer to not dream anything. And how did that make me feel in the end? Sad, miserable, like I was living my life without any purpose, like my life didn’t exist at all. Everything was just the same, day after day and never was going to change.

That was not a good feeling. I know now that we all do need dreams. We need to be told that it is our priviledge. What kind of place this world would be if nobody had ever dreamed anything? Being able to dream is something that is a very profound level in all of us. What would I be without my dreams?

I mean, there could be that even this celebrity of mine is dreaming about something greater and almost un-achievable thing as well. I would be even ready to make a bet for it. And if someone told him that is not going to happen, he is not even allowed to have that dream and he should just drop it off – would he be happy about it?

Ok, well, maybe he is right telling his fans this. There is no point in continuing to grow some immeasurable dreams that has to die anyways. It is not nice to hear, but later on they will thank him. Right?

Am I going to?

Perhaps not. But I’m not listening to him anyways.

On this subject I’m going to keep my stand. I have the right to dream. As does anybody.

Just try to stop me.

The foundation of something significant

Been thinking about charity and doing good deeds lately. Been thinking how this planet of ours is in our responsibility, and we need to take care of it. I mean, I haven’t been much activist myself before, and I surely ain’t one now, but I would like to change.

I have loved nature as long as I can remember. I feel like I’m close to something greater than just me when surrounded by huge trees, or standing on a shore, touching massive rocks, feeling the sun… I had forgotten this, though. I was on a holiday couple of weeks ago and I walked in the light green forests where the sun shimmered on the leaves and where the birds sang the way I had never heard before. It felt magical! I felt like I was living in a dream, walking in a fairytale. So beautiful and amazing!

And it is so sad to understand that there  may not be that amazingness much longer.

I have been familiarizing myself to some charity organizations, or some foundations and trying to decide. You know. It’s about my money, anyways. I should be able to be certain of the use of it, right? I thought this on my way home today and I wondered what is the thing that makes a person to do that kind of a decision. The decision of trust. I have heard so many friends, relatives or acquaintances of mine tell me that they won’t give any money because they don’t trust. “How could I know where the money is put?” they say. “I would give, if I knew the aid was going straight where I want it to go.”

And I agree, everytime. But lately I have had this feeling that there must be something to do. If not giving money, maybe actually doing something. Or maybe I just need to trust. Have the faith.

I read from a local newspaper about this Finnish association called Sharewood (that page is only in Finnish, sorry) that has a very interesting way for getting people to do good: on their site they have 49 Finnish aiding organizations and some advertisers, and anyone can join the community. The point is: you can help and give money without actually giving it yourself. The sum of the contribution is formed by the amount of your clickings on the ads. I tried to familiarize myself with it yesterday, but I’m sure I have to give to it some more time. That is surely interesting, though.

It’s been a headache for me to try make a decision. I’m bad at making them now and then. I know what I would like to do, but somehow it feels I’m too small and too alone to actually achieve anything. What would it change if I gave my 5 euros for some foundation, to The Finnish Association for Nature Conservation (FANC), for example? Or maybe the Baltic Sea Action Group (BSAG)? Or to some global thing, to WWF? Or some farther organizations, that doesn’t have any effect in Finland at all? Some foundations founded by celebrities, my favourite ISF, Ian Somerhalder Foundation perhaps? There are so many things that are not quite right in this world, where to start?

I have been thinking about this celebrity-thing. I mean. There could be a possibility people to join in just because of the celebrity. And then again, would that be wrong? If the cause is good, is the ultimate reason for doing good relevant at all? If I would start caring about the Earth because of Ian Somerhalder, why shouldn’t I? I mean. Uh. This is getting hard. I mean that I have always cared for it. It seems that I have had this urge to actually do something, lately. Not just sit and feel horrified about the fact that no-one is doing anything, but actually do.

I have had this dream of mine for a long time. I love animals, particularly cats. I have dreamed to be able to create a whole new place for abandoned cats, a kind of a temporary accommodation for them from where they could be adopted to a new (and a better) home. Well, who knows. Maybe one day?

For me, one thing that restricts me is myself, wanting everything being perfect already. I mean, if I have to start with that 5 euros, then I won’t start at all. Can’t explain. I’m that impatient, I would like to see the world already saved! The wise man mentioned above said: “You have to start local to get global.” How encouraging thought. In a way. The ocean is made of tiny drops of water.

But another question arises: how local? I mean, I suddenly found myself thinking more abstractly. Should I begin with taking care of me? Making sure that I’m balanced and ready to take off? You have to be okay yourself before you can take care others, right? I’m surely confusing myself right now. Where to start? But could it be that developing this kind of an interest would be a sign that I’m ready?

It is easier not to think how this world is at the moment, and how it will be in the future when our kids are adults. Thinking of climate change, deforestation, extincion of species, animal rights and all that ignorance the most of us seem to react these things… it makes me feel pretty uneasy. Uneasy because I know that there has to be a change. There has to be something for me to do. We have to stop this madness.

It is easier just keep on going. But it won’t solve the thing. They may be hidden, but they are still there, very real. That is the reason we need people brave enough to think these things trough and make others think, too. That is the reason I have respect for Ian Somerhalder, for making me take responsibility of my own actions. That may be a small beginning, but it is a beginning anyhow.