Somebody said: “You have your own personality – and that is good.”
I overheard this statement lately and started to really think about what does it mean. What does the one who says this want to say? Actually when hearing this I suddenly felt a bit offended without any reason, really. That was the reason why I started to ponder upon this one.
Don’t we all have our own personalities? Some of us are not just so aggressive and pushy than the others. When saying this statement mentioned above, what kind of a personality does this mean? The pushy ones?
The things I assume/interpret it to mean could be one of the following:
- You are very different from me and I want you to know it, and it’s okay.
- There’s something very odd in you, but I try to be polite when mentioning it to you, and adding ‘that is good’ should do the trick of “politing” it up.
- I respect your personality, being openly just as you are and not trying to be anything else.
So, from my point of view when saying that someone says that someone else has ‘her/his own personality’ it is actually a polite way of saying: whoah, you’re so not like me! How can you be so different?
But the question remains. To who are we about to say these words? What kind of a personality is “the own personality”?
I consider that it would be said to confident people. The ones who don’t really care what others think about them. The ones that are somehow little different from the rest of us. The ones who laugh the loudest. The ones who wear pink hair and 3-inch nails.
The ones who keep it coming no matter what.
Okay, it’s cool, and I respect all these kinds of people. But I’m not one of them. Does it mean I don’t have my own personality, then?
But then again, I could agree with that some of us try so much to be nice to others that they somehow forget who they are. Those people who are willing to give up of anything if it doesn’t please others. But does it mean they don’t have their own personality?
I don’t think so.
We all do.
Not all of us are so pushy with our own opinions, or our needs and wants. Some of us are more easily satisified, some of us are able to do compromises. Would you call that kind of a person as a her/his ‘own personality’? If someone is shy and quiet and tends to withdraw from any confrontations, doesn’t this one have her/his own personality?
Sure (s)he does!
I think that we all do have that something inside of us that makes us, us. Who we are when we are completely alone, what we think inside of our heads. Not all of us are so different from others from the outside, but inside of us there is this ‘personality’. The thing that doesn’t change when times do. The thing I know I am no matter what.
And the thing is, we don’t need to try to be anything else than we feel inside we are.
It is good. It’s enough, and it is good. And so are you.
So, when I felt offended without any reason, I interpreted this statement was meant to be a compliment to the other. And in the same time I thought that because I’m very different from the person who this was said to, I can’t be approved or admired in the same way. And that was the silent insult for me, for being too lame. But actually, me getting offended had nothing to do with the statement or the reason it was said. It was my own interpretation of my own worth, and it was my attitude that made me value myself lower than those who were speaking.
It surely didn’t mean I don’t have my own personality, for I do. As we all. And as I just wrote above, we all are good enough. We are different from others for a reason.
And the most relieving realization I have ever made was this: I don’t have to be anything other than me.
I don’t. And neither do you.
If you’re aggressive, keep being, if you’re not deliberately hurting others.
If you’re shy, keep being, if you don’t feel it’s restricting your ability to get on with your life.
If you’re the one who laughs the loudest, keep laughing.
If you get easily emotional over things, keep on feeling.
You are the only one who knows who you really are. Don’t ever forget it, or feel ashamed of it. Be proud that you are you, that nobody on this planet is exactly the same as you.
Let’s keep on being amazing!