I just read my old diary and I started to feel a bit nostalgic. The fun thing about diaries is that I can live some moments all over again, I can actually bring the feelings back to life. On the other hand I’m not so sure if that’s a good thing. To remember something that has slipped off my mind already. Sometimes I feel like I’m reading about someone else. Did that really happen to me?
This time reading it through made me miss those moments, those people I loved. Time gives me more neutral perspective about those things and still I found myself a bit upset. Gosh, I started to love him again!
Then when staring myself from a mirror I started to think again. I know that we wouldn’t have anything realistic, I mean that despite of all infatuation and attraction between us (and, oh, we really had some) we were very different from each other. I guess the thing I miss today is the attention and consideration he gave me. His gaze. He made me feel myself much better person than without him. Yeah, I know, I always thought that phrase was just another cliche. But I have felt it.
I miss the sparkle. The butterflies. The amazement of his looks. And the way he gazed me. I miss the love. The feeling of something bigger.
I shouldn’t read my diaries, right?