The secret crushes of mine

I agree, the headline could be wrongly put after you read this one. I might have called this blog as a public diary of mine, so I decided to add up something that I usually write on my private one. Admit it, everyone loves crushes, right? I do, anyways. I’m having them constantly.

A little note beforehand: all the celebrities have their own name mentioned, but when it comes to a real person I know personally I prefer to use a nickname.

So, here’s my list as far. I feel embarassed already. Gosh. I must be out of my mind.

alfred j. kwak
A cartoon character, imaginary, but ah, so brave and heroic. Very stylish when wearing a hat as Indiana Jones. The very first crush of mine. I was like seven. He was a duck, by the way.
The new boy in our elementary shcool. His hair were blondish, kinda very common coloured. He had amazingly gorgeous stocking cap with a huge pompom. I stole one yarn from the pompom and it was my precious treasure for some time.
He was like a half way a relative of mine, he was often visiting us and playing with me. I liked him a lot. Blonde hair, taller than me. He seemed to me so adult, and skillful and brave. He looks a bit as a Finnish Haddaway.
rami alanko
Ahh. The guitar player in the Finnish band Neon 2. He had blond, long hair ( in that time). He was 12 years older than me. Or obviously, still is. Lovely. I liked especially his modesty and “shyness”. I got few autographs, as well. I also got a postcard that was really personally written by him. I remember the words still: “Thank you, we are self-sufficient in lyrics.” Damn.
Huge misunderstandings. Argh. I was very deeply and deadly infatuated with him. He also was teasing me and I was waiting those moments. Untill… he once asked me if I wanted to go out with him. I was young and naive and understood that he meant if I wanted to go on the school yard with him. I answered crossly: “No I don’t.” After that he didn’t tease me anymore. It was some years later that I realized that maybe “out” meant “on a date”. Damn.
brad pitt
Kind of. I had a poster of him on my wall. But I had also many other posters. His looks appealed to me, I found him somehow soft and sweet. I didn’t feel him particular intrusively sexy. I think I don’t have to tell you how he looks, doesn’t everybody just know who he is? I imagined to waking up next to him on a morning, not remembering what had happened. A very interesting situation, don’t you think?
Deadly? Did I just said deadly? This beats even the deadly! Oh! He was tall! 198 cm (I think it would be about 6,5 feet). He had dark hair and he was absolutely fascinating when black haired as when in the senior high school. Blue eyes. We went to the prom together and I was reaaally happy. It was the first time when I suspected that the other one could have interested in me as well. Our eyes met for too long times. In the prom he hold me tightly. I was too shy and he didn’t actually say anything either. Some years later I heard from a class mate that “when anttoni had a crush on you”. Damn!
An imaginary character from the Legend of the Ice People by Margit Sandemo. He was divine, he was partly an angel and partly a human being. He had black hair, he was handsome and powerful. In these times I started to dream about a man who would take my breath away straight away, would be overpowering in something at least.
“the blue-eyed”
For a tiny moment, like a time of a  heartbeat our eyes met. I floated. Blue eyes. He was helping my mom to move house, and my class mates big brother. I had never seen him before and I never did again. For that one moment I was out of this world. I knew I would do anything he asked. There was nothing more, just that gaze. And he asked: “Could you pack these, please?”. I did. I was confused and I still remember that moment. How one moment can seize you completely, remove you from your surroundings. I hadn’t experienced anything like that before and not after that, but once. He had the same name as this guy.
“near from apart, far from close”
Oh. This was my first real love. I met him in the net. We sent emails every day, text messages every hour, we talked a lot on a phone, snail mail, post cards, poems… He was tall, dark haired. He was sturdily built, he made me feel safe. We were so close from a distance and when we met, we were very far from each other after all. I think we both disappointed and then we split up.
ricky martin
La vida loca. Yeah. I fell for good with this one. Light brown hair and brown eyes. The gaze that made me melt. The voice that made me feel butterflies. Very sexy. He was the first man that I knowingly and dedicatedly wanted. I was already interested in astrology and found out that he was Capricorn. I was surprised, though maybe not actually shocked when I heard about his sexual orientation. Way to go me. He wasn’t the last one.
darren hayes
*Sigh* What could I say. The crush of all times. The longest, anyways. I fell without noticing, I didn’t even think he was that good looking. I dreamed constantly. I secretly loved him. The lyrics of the songs made my appreciation grow. I studied more astrology, and tried to fit our lives together. Taurus. I was on his gig in Espoo extempore. It was Wednesday when I suddenly decided to look for his gigs from the net and I found one in Espoo, Finland that was going to happen on next Saturday! I went, I didn’t hesitate one second. I liked. I sent thoughts to him: I’m here, Darren!  And in the very same moment he turned and looked straight to me and waved. Telepathy. With no doubt. Right? His orientation shocked me, deeply. I heard it from a friend in a text message: has married. a man. Yay. In these times I start to feel a bit worried about my crushes. I’m not shocked anymore. I survived.
“the hobbit”
Argh. Omg. Yikes. What could I say. The next big thing. When I first saw him I knew that this was something special. The most handsome ever. Dark hair, brown eyes. Tall. Sparklingly eloquent. Lights the room when enters. Leo in astrology. I was so overwhelmingly infatuated. We talked, we spoke on messenger, sent emails. He read some of my stories and gave me really good advice that I’m very grateful. It lasted for some time. I was amazed every time I saw him, because I never remembered just how stunning and sparkling he was. He said to me some confusing things. Are your sisters as good looking as you? I just wanted to touch you. I would have asked you for a drink if I knew you were in town. Confusing. There was times when I was sure about his interest on me, and times when I was as sure about his dislike. I had this love-hatred thing. A bad place to be. For a long time. I didn’t expose myself. I was already settled down for my husband, that was the reason. There was a time when I complained to my friend that I had never feel any passion and when I showed my collection of poems about this guy, the friend answered this is passion. Yes. It was. Specifically. From afar. Hmph.
janne ahonen
Hmh. A Finnish ski-jumper. This was a very passing crush, but I still think he is good looking; or at least in some outstanding way. I especially liked his way of being seriously amused. In the ski-jumping competitions his peculiar way was to keep straight face and still smile with his eyes.
dominic monaghan
This was very passing, but also momentarily intense crush. I didn’t find him that good looking at all. His face seems to be some funny way asymmetric, but in a fascinating way. I even saw a dream about him. I takes a lot to get on the playlist of my dreams. Known from the TV, for example The Lord of the Rings and the series Lost.
Beutifulbeautifulbeautiful. Lovely. My English teacher. From USA. Dark haired, brown eyes. Did I mention that he was lovely already? I have never fell quite like that. Completely. Immediately. More every day. I loved his voice, his soft way of pronouncing English. Everybody else was infatuated as well. We all blushed and giggled in the lessons. Once he walked me by on a corridor and said have a nice weekend. And I, all that I could say was th– and after that I blushed so red I never have. Oh God. He was beautiful. I was afraid and looked forward to every English lesson. Really beautiful. Not cute. Not handsome. Not feminine. But absolutely beautiful.
Umm. This was a weird phase in my life. He was my class mate and was not the one I usually would have fell for. There was more good looking guys in the class, but he was witty, funny, quick-tongued, smart. He made canny remarks on the lessons. I noticed he as well from his glances that were just a bit too long. I liked him for some time untill I realized that this is nothing like it. I was afraid of his cleverness. I want a witty man, but I’m afraid of witty men. Way to go.
justin timberlake
Hmmm. When I was young, a long time ago, I absolutely disliked him. And so it changes. I like the way he gives glances, the way he moves, the way he sings. Take a look. And oh, he looks pretty much like the hobbit mentioned above. Aquarius. This was very clearly a superficial crush. Sexy, oh yes. But the reason I liked him that much was mostly because he looked like the hobbit. Yeah.
tomi metsäketo
Oh. The prince. A Finnish singer I don’t think he is handsome, only because he is too beautiful for that. He’s got noble features that makes him look just like a prince to me. Amazing voice! I saw him once in his Christmas carol consert and I loved it. He has this lovely way of looking at you long time in the eyes, the every person in the audience. It made me feel myself special. Seen. And did I mention how amazing his voice is? Aquarian.
jamie oliver
This was a very short term crush of mine. I love the way he speaks. Extremely skillful with the knife. He made me interest more in cooking, in new recipes, trying new ingredients and all. I still do, thanks to him. The crush came and went. I like him still, though. The Food Revolution is amazing, it’s so inspiring to see that someone cares.
edward cullen
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch! Gosh, how I fell. You know, this is a fictional character. A vampire. I refrained myself from Twilight for a long time because everybody else was so excited about it. By an accident I saw the first movie and fell. Particularly in Edward, not in Robert Pattinson. I admired Edwards self-control, his beauty, his thoughtfulness – oh yes, and there was something else fascinating me: the forbidden lust for blood, the danger. I thought that if I could have a man like Edward. Oh, and he can hear your thoughts. One feature that I would have a respect on. I do assume that a man knows what I’m thinking, anyways. This one could do it.
ian somerhalder
Oh man. *Sigh* Dark hair, his eyes are blue – no, wait, green – no, wait, gray – no, wait, blue after all — Confusingly changing colour. Mesmerizing.  Every time I see them I think oh, they are that blue/green/gray, always surprised. A bit taller than me, just a bit, but taller, which is important. Sagittarius. Breathtakingly gorgeous. Extremely sexy. My infatuation at the moment. He is actively taking part in nature conservation, animal rights, taking care of the Earth itself. I found him accidentaly when in my Edward-fever I adventured in the net pages about vampires. I found The Vampire Diaries and Damon Salvatore. Whoa. One of a sexy beast. I used to tell people that the hobbit is the most good looking guy ever even when the celebrities taken into account. He’s not anymore. Ladies and gentleman, this is ist: the most good looking, intoxicating, charming, sexy, confusing, interesting man ever. The mystical connection is back. He is the most compatible to me astrologically as well. Nice. He has made me do things. I went to Twitter. I interested more actively in nature and stuff again. Only because of him. And oh, wrote my saga of vampires to an end because Damon was my muse. Thanks, Ian. Love you for that, too.
Oh God.
I think that was all. I found this very interesting, but I assume that no-one else will. Oh well. This is my diary, anyways… I will write something more, umm… reasonable soon enough, I promise.

4 thoughts on “The secret crushes of mine

  1. Wow, you fall in love a lot – but then I can identify. “The blue-eyed” reminds of an acquaintance of my – “Romanski.” Met him on a recent trip with my humans. (See – “Parking Lot Lies” on my site. Your post was interesting because I was trying to find a common attraction thread. Every time I thought I had it figured – ZAP!

    1. Yes, I know, I do fall a lot. That’s me… And I know that there seems not to be anything in common with these guys. I have tried to figure it out myself – with no luck so far.. Thanks for visiting! I will visit back.

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