I really don’t have much to say. Feeling blue. Unable to concentrate on anything. I feel like everything I try is condemned to fail. Or, at least, there is something really wrong with it, that I can’t even fix. I want the wrong things. Too big ones. I should learn to think small and be happy what I have already. Hold back my imaginary ideas of how things should be. Yeah. That’s it. Nothing much.
I wrote some time ago: Hey, life, surprise me! What’s so amazing about you? It hasn’t yet. Never will. I think I know the reality though I’m not that good at accepting it.
I will be happier again. I know. Maybe not today.
That’s one thing that keeps annoying me. My own behaviour, how I change the scenes all the time. Being happy. Not being happy. Being happy again. Being miserable. What’s wrong with me? I think I should act more single-minded, more purposeful, more aggressive. And not change my mind twelve times a day.
Great. Now I am pissed as well.
I might have to stop. Sorry about this. I may be more profound later on. Thinking hurts right now. Take care.