The perfect man

I have been thinking lately. You know. Things. Relationships. Responsibilities. Commitments. Life. As usual. But what really has engaged my attention is, umm. Men. I mean. Relationships with them. What makes it worth trying and when to let go? And why on earth it is so difficult to cope with them? Then again, this question turns back to me easily enough. Why it seems to be so difficult for them to cope with me? Who is the one who needs to change? Or have faith? Me? Is it always me? Anyhow, I do admit I can be a real pain in the a** if I want to. But then again, I believe anyone can.

A real relationship needs commitment, trust and something fun occationally. Intense feelings. Or feelings, at least. At this point I’m referring this all to my own relationship, obviously. We have been having some rough times for some time now. It has lead me to think what is the perfect man like.

Ok. Here goes. The perfect man should be…

Good-looking. Wealthy. Trustworthy. Witty. Funny. Courageous. Confident. Protective. And oh. Edward Cullen doesn’t count. He’s not real, you know.

Good-looking. The perfect man should be able to turn my head around with his looks. There has been some, some time ago. Umm. Not so many, anyways. One real one, who is the most attractive and charming I know, still. But I have had some crushes on celebrities as well, who wouldn’t? There is something intriguing for me in Justin Timberlake, Dominic Monaghan or Ian Somerhalder. I have noticed that when someone catches my eye, he has some similar features than those guys. The Real One was very much JT-like in a iansomerhalderish way. At my work there’s one interesting guy, who could be hybrid from JT & DM. Way to go me. At least I know what I want?

Wealthy. Oh yes. Of course I would say it’s not that important. But it helps. It has been only lately when I have realized that I do enjoy wealthiness. Not like I should have millions to be happy, but I appriciate good quality and genuinely enjoy it. And if we are talking about the perfect man, and if he could be anything, so why not wealthy? I feel like wealthiness is kind of a  indication of success in life. I mean.. The person has accomplished something becoming wealthy. Hopefully followed his dreams. And I don’t mean with wealthy some arrogant nuisances, but those who use their power for some good cause. Wealthiness is power, it doesn’t matter do you want to accept that or not, it is.

Trustworthy. Do I need to explain this? If you can’t trust your partner, what’s the point being together? Darren Hayes has said I believe trust is more important than monogamy, and I believe the same. If you know where you stand with each other, that is the  main thing. If it is agreed and understood the relationship could be as free the partners feel comfortable with. That’s how I see it. Anyway, I need to know what the man is thinking and why. Please. Talk.

Witty and funny. Very important thing. I love words. If the man can use his I’m pretty easily charmed. Stupidity is the very first thing to turn me down. I enjoy the clever jokes, clever men. I need to be able to look up to the perfect man and when I consider myself pretty good with words (in Finnish, at least), the perfect man should be even better. The surprise element is good to excist, the man should make me think from the wider point of view, lift me out of the box, you know. I want to fly.

Courageous and confident. The man must be a man. I mean, he should know what he wants and how he will get it. He must have self-confidence and act like, oh boy, you know who, Edward Cullen. It would be great if he had some kind of belief, some greater reason for his actions (thinking about Ian Somerhalder at this point). I think it has been already said what I mean with this one. Confidence does not mean arrogancy here, just for your information. You can be confident and brave without being cheeky. If you are happy with who you are and know why you are doing things that you do, that’s the best kind of confidency I can think of. But anyways, the perfect man is not a gutless wuss.

Protective. Yes, this is a new item on a list. I want to feel feminine, like I’m the most valuable thing on earth. Like he could do absolutely anything for me – and to keep me. I wouldn’t misuse this, surely. And if the perfect man would be all the above, it’s not likely to have problem with that anyways. He would want to protect me, my thoughts, my rights, my freedom. I mean. Protective doesn’t mean possessive. Or not that much. I would be happy to feel sometimes that I do belong to someone. Emphasizing the word sometimes. I like my freedom, as well. I need to be independent and be able to do my own things. The Real One once said “not by force, but semi-forcing“. It did sound pretty sexy to me at that point. Umm. Yeah. That’s me.

The perfect man. What an impossible idea. You can still have dreams, right?


7 thoughts on “The perfect man

  1. I think some men have just forgotten how to be protective of us (like you said, NOT in a possessive way) and keep us…almost like they want us to do the keeping for them…but the perfect man SHOULD be protective! Love your post…and still hoping that Prince Perfect will pop his head in the door one day and wow me off my feet! 🙂

    1. I couldn’t stop thinking about this. I wonder if men even know that we want them to be protective, really? After all that fighting for womens rights and independence?

      1. Its a good question. Sometimes I really think they don’t realize that is what we want. I personally think women’s rights has gone so far that men don’t realize that we do want them to be protective of us in a good way. For me, it’s one of the ways I know that they really do care.

      2. I agree completely. It should be natural, right? To protect something that is worth of it. I will protect my dear daughter, with no doubt. What it is so different being a man protecting a woman? (and yes, in a good way.) Um. This thought came to me just now: are we setting some conditions for men, that their way of being protective is not right for us? That if they don’t behave just the way we want them to behave, they’re all wrong. I don’t know. But I do agree with you. Protection is a sign of caring for me too. Maybe we should let them know?

  2. Maybe we should. I know that is one of the frustrations for me in developing a relationship. Often the men I run into kind of hold back on the being protective part and I’m left feeling mixed up…with the question of “so do you really care about me…? I trust you…but when are you going to show me that I’m worth it?” But this is getting me thinking…maybe it’s just that he doesn’t realize that that’s what I want, and I need to tell him??? Then…maybe we are setting our own conditions for them…I don’t know…this is really getting me thinking though!

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