I’ve got a bad feeling about this…

Not really, no. It just. Well. Me and my brother used to laugh at this line from StarWars for some time ago. And I was going to write something about having this odd feeling. Oh, I’m not very clear with my words today. Let’s try again.

Today, or actually recently, I have been having this feeling like I’m getting close. That the mystery of my life, or particularly the mystery of the purpose of my life, would be coming clear. I can’t really explain it. I just feel, I sense that I’m close. I just need to keep going and in time it will happen. Mystical? Naive? Just stupid?

I have always thought I’m a realistic person. I do have imagination, of course, how could I write otherwise? And I do have pretty interesting ideas sometimes, ideas that I need to buckle up so they won’t explode. And take me with them. Flying. Above. Never coming back.

I need to be seen. Well, who wouldn’t?

I found an old writing of mine where I had thought the purpose of life. I’m going to read to you a part of it.

Why do I excist? What is my purpose? Why anybody excists? What is the purpose of one human being? Why have we been invented, made, created, why do we have thoughts? I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t even care. Sometimes I can’t get sleep from these thoughts. Questions. Secrecies of life.

If I make some bread, I make it for it to be eaten. Does the bread know that it’s purpose is to be eaten and is it happy when it happens? Or does a bread dream about being some butter that is spreaded on other breads; or a knife that cuts the bread? Does it ever question it’s being, that why it is just a bread and why can’t it ever cut some breads? Does a bread know it is a bread?

Haha. I mean. I don’t actually think breads could think. But it simplifies the thought. Do I know what I am or am I just dreaming about something just as bizarre than a bread cutting another? Does anybody?

Some people do, I believe. Those who have accomplished something they believed in. Those who had the courage and the strength to change things. Make a move. I look up to those people. You’re great. Keep going! And maybe I will someday know am I a bread or a knife.


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